Season Of Life

Didn't have much going on this Christmas. Was on leave since 23 Dec, and will be till end of the year, due to office shutdown, however for the past 2 weeks I wasn't exactly excitedly anticipating Christmas. I had planned to go somewhere for holidays, but due to various reasons, all of which are frustrating, I am missing a travelling buddy to go anywhere. It wasn't just a single incident, it was one disappointment after another. They just seemed to be shouting at me, "You are not going anywhere!" I am quite surprised I didn't lose my temper over this. I would have. But I sure wasn't having a good time. Kinda lost faith in friends because of promises not realized. 3 different friends, I'm sure no one did it on purpose. But can you understand how disappointed I am? Hopes were raised & then smashed again & again. I had really wanted a good holiday somewhere. Almost to the extent of travelling by myself. But hey, what's the point if no one shares the journey & fun? I hate to be wasting time doing nothing. I had geared my thoughts so much towards a nice overseas holiday that I don't know what I am supposed to do in town this week. So I wallowed & sulked last week over smashed hopes, nursing my wounds in self-pity, blaming God, friends, myself. Attitude. Felt completely like shit. So how happy do you suppose I am, during this Christmas? It ought to be a season of joy, fun & giving. I still give, but I wish I have given happier.

But nevertheless, nevertheless, nevertheless. There are still good things happening. I text all my friends last nite to send them greetings. It feels good to bless. And then I received greetings from friends overseas, among whom my friend who is in Vietnam now. Well, he's not just any friend. I have told God that if I could just received his greetings this Christmas, it would be really sweet. And so I did... receive. Good things do happen. Miracles do happen beyond reasoning. I dun want to give up believing in miracles. I am recovering from my attitude problem. Merry.. merry Christmas to you.